I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
