Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
