Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
