and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I have feelings that need drinking.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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