i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
