That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
