so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
