I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
