Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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