Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
