Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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