I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
