Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
