So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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