Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
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No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
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he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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