i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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