My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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