I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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