i already hear my dad disowning me
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
