If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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