i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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