im about as happy as oj after his trial
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
organizing the empties. That sober.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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