The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
