You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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