I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
