Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
i think im in europe. pls send help
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
