why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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