Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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