look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
