i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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