My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize