was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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