honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So much Jack, so little girl.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
