Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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