Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Alive.
So much puke
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
