some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
