While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
