yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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