Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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