This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
