Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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