Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
