10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
