I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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