why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
