She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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