im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Can Purell be used as lube?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Randomize
