i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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