one word: firstdatebathroomanal
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
