Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
