North Korea, Best Korea!
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
