OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Someone signed my nipple.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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