You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
