i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
