marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
